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  • Writer's pictureZoe Isaac

Fly Little Blu Bird - All in My "Feels" - Maia Chronicles

They should be taking off now.....I'm clock watching whilst eating her leftover pizza and wine. The basement is a mess....I kinda knew it would be. I prayed it wouldn't be though - oh well. I passed on the HBCU walk/run this morning so I could spend one last morning with my eldest child. I woke up early to start the "deviled egg process"...too tired last night to do anything else but fall asleep on the couch. 24 eggs with smoked salmon, the other 24 with smoked trout. I put them on boil and headed to the shower. Maia, sleeping peacefully, looked like she did as a child.....that same sweet face. I wanted to touch that sweet face but I knew better.

For the past week, I have been prodding Maia to get her stuff organized and packed so her move to the mid-west would be seamless. Was I asking too much? The days passed and I asked each day to no avail. She played Candy Crush as if her life depended on it and I didn't harp on it because she deserved to Candy Crush until her fingers turned blue. She graduated from college and secured a job rather quickly. Who would I be to deny her Candy Crush. Her Pop is taking the initial trek with her to get her set up and then Joie will go hang with her and then I will go. My plan was to have all of her extras boxed up and ready to ship thus freeing my studio back up for use and allowing me to process the fact that my child, my first born, my independent - handle her ish - princess has flown coop and glided into the world of "Adulting".

I finished up the eggs and headed to my sorority's cookout/picnic. Both of the girls were up by the time I left the house this morning. Nothing had been packed and because I can stress over stuff like that , I just let them know that I would be back home around 6. I just knew that kiddo would have gotten her stuff together by then. Her Pop was to pick her up at 7:30. I was to follow them. I got home around 5:30 and clothes were everywhere. Things were neatly rolled up and folded, and one large duffel was packed so I just sat down and told myself....." just set down and see what happens".....yes "set"....not "sit". "Set" is when you sit down hard with the resolve not to help or move. I could barely see my other child for the mountain of clothes but she was helping her big sissy.

Maia wasn't the least bit stressed. She sat cross legged amidst the mountain of rolled and folded clothes with Luke Cage on the TV. Focused on Luke and chatting about the show, I gave her time checks I think every 15 minutes. She was as cool as the other side of the pillow. I knew "She" was headed for trouble when she took an organized bag full of clothes, emptied it, and then motioned me to come over to help her reorganize it. So I stopped "setting" and went over to help "the child". 7pm rolls around, 7:15pm, 7:33. At 7:33 her Pop knocked on the door. I knew he was going to shit a brick so I made Joie go and answer the door. I felt sorry for what he was about to see and what Maia was about to hear, but sometimes only a father's voice works in making things happen. She sped up but lordy, she was not at all pressed about needing to be out of the door like yesterday. I felt much so that I kinda spazzed to myself. Joie jumped ship and decided to stay home instead of riding with me and all of a sudden I couldn't figure out in my head where my place was in all of this. I couldn't figure out how I was going to meet my child and her father in the airport, I couln't figure out where I was going to park, I couldn't figure out what I was going to say to my child once I located her in the airport. I lost my damn mind....but only for a moment.

We all got out of the door, I jumped in my car in frustration and fear. Maia was the last to leave the house....she left the door open. She forgot to close it. I called her sister to come lock up. The ride to the airport was smooth - no accidents, no nuthin. Big up to the traffic Gods. I parked in the hourly parking, her Pop dropped her and the bags off in the departure section and I easily found her. We stood outside and chatted and waited for her Pa. I got her to take a selfie before they checked their bags. Nether she nor her Dad could balk at me taking pics because they were too busy trying to figure out what tag would go on what bag. And just like that, they headed to the gate. I could go no further - damn. I hugged my child, kissed her cheeks a thousand times and we both zerberted each other. Some call it razzing, we call it zerbert. They headed one way, I headed back to the parking lot...alone - missing my child already but so proud of her and elated that she has flown the coop and is on her own.

The ride back home was quicker than the ride up. I came home all in my "feels" (feelings) about the signifigance of what just transpired = a letting the little birdie go thing. I walked in the door starving so I found some unhealthy eats and wine and came downstairs to find Joie bopping her head, headphones on, and smiling. She had found her happy spot thank God because that's not the way I left her. All that Maia needed to pack was all over the place and I , her mother, charged with packing it all up and shipping it to her.....sigh. I'll miss her....shoot, I already do, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter in our lives as two adult women - Adulting and sharing our experiences. She will kick respective ass in whatever she does. I will kick respective ass for her if she ever needs me to. Fly little blue bird, fly.

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